Suanne Laqueur – The Man I Love (The Fish Tales #1)

Synopsis

Winner of a gold medal in the 2015 Readers’ Favorite Book Awards, Suanne Laqueur’s astonishing debut novel follows an adult man’s emotional journey to salvage relationships destroyed in his youth.

As a college freshman, Erik Fiskare is drawn to the world of theater but prefers backstage to center stage. The moment he lays eyes on a beautiful, accomplished dancer named Daisy Bianco, his atoms rearrange themselves and he is drawn into a romance both youthfully passionate and maturely soulful. Their love story thrives within a tight-knit circle of friends, all bound by creativity and artistry. A newcomer arrives–a brilliant but erratic dancer with an unquenchable thirst for connection. And when this disturbed friend turns violent and vindictive, the story is forever changed, the circle is broken and a shocking act of betrayal causes Erik to leave school and disconnect from all he loves. He buries his heartbreak and puts the past behind. Or so he believes.

As he moves into adulthood, Erik slowly heals the most wounded parts of his soul. But the unresolved grief for Daisy continues to shape his dreams at night. Once those dreams were haunted by blood. Now they are haunted by the refrain of a Gershwin song and a single question: is leaving always the end of loving?

Spanning 15 years, The Man I Love explores themes of love and sexuality, trauma—physical and mental—and its long-lasting effects, the burden of unfinished business and the power of reconciliation. Through Erik’s experience we reflect on what it means to be a man, a son and a leader. A soul mate, a partner and a lover. What it means to live the truth of who you are and what you feel. What it means to fight for what you love.

*The Man I love won the 2015 Beverly Hills Book Award for romance, and a gold medal at the 2015 eLit Book Awards and it was a finalist at the 2015 International Book Awards.*

elválasztó

Véleményem a könyvről

Mikor egy többszörös díjnyertes könyvet vesz az ember a kezébe, ráadásul tudva, hogy ezt debütáló kötettel tudta elérni az írónő, az olvasó nem tudja, hogy mire számíthat. Így voltam ezzel én is. És meg kell, hogy mondjam, hogy ez a könyv valóban valami más volt. Nagyon egyedi stílussal íródott, lassan építkező történet, de annyira valódi volt, annyira fájdalmas és hiteles volt, hogy egyszerűen magával ragadott. Az írónő egy olyan témához mert hozzányúlni, amely tragikus, fájdalmas, felfoghatatlan és sajnos nem példa nélküli. Tovább árnyalja a történetet a tény, hogy részben a valóságban megtörtént eseményeket is papírra vetett az írónő (1999. április 20.).

Erik Fiskare első évét kezdi Lancaster University-n színháztechnika szakon, amikor egy napon megpillantja a gyönyörű táncos lányt, Daisy Bianco-t. Az ő történetük gyönyörű, a kapcsolatuk pedig varázslatos. Imádtam olvasni, ahogy szépségesen építkezik oldalról, oldalra. Aztán egy tragikus esemény a feje tetejére állítja a világukat és hirtelen a mélyben találják magukat. A sötétben tapogatózva próbálják ismét megtalálni egymást, megtalálni magukat, de az események hurrikánja elszakítja őket egymástól sok-sok évre.

A könyv varázsa azt hiszem a hitelességében rejlett. Egyrészt az írónő színház és tánc szakon diplomázott, így minden apró részlet annyira részletesen és hihetően volt papírra vetve, hogy szinte én is ott éreztem magam a színpadon, a színfalak mögött, vagy akár a hang- és fényvezérlő fülkében. Az események leírását és következményeit nyersnek és valóságosnak éreztem, amely szívszaggatóan mély érzelmeket váltott ki belőlem. Tényleg úgy érzetem, hogy sajog a szívem a szereplőkért. Az pedig, ahogy a szereplők pszichéjét kezelte az írónő, briliánsan volt összerakva, a végén minden szál összeért, minden apróságra választ kaptunk. Annyi kiderült a könyv végén, hogy egy orvos is segített a könyv megírásában, és ez minden egyes oldalról vissza is köszönt, mert valóban annyira valódinak érzett, minden reakció, gondolat, fájdalom. Szintén nagyon tetszett, hogy bár lassan építkezett a történet, de olykor a legapróbb részleteknek is volt szerepe a későbbiekben, és igazi jelentőséggel bírt.

A lezárást kicsit elsietettnek éreztem és egyszerűen hiába volt majdnem 500 oldal a könyv, akartam még többet Erik-ből és Daisy-ből, egy hosszabb lezárást, egy epilógust, bármit. Aztán a kezembe vettem a második kötetet (Daisy szemszögét), és a végére ugorva megkönnyebbülten találtam még néhány plusz oldalt a könyv végén, így valóban elégedetten fejezhettem be a könyvet. A harmadik kötet két hét múlva érkezik, amely folytatja Erik és Daisy történetét. Talán egyszer majd azt is a kezembe fogom venni.

Őszintén szólva Melanie-t kihagytam volna az egész könyvből (így nagyjából 100 oldallal kevesebb is lett volna, és számomra könnyebben emészthető is lett volna). Bár jobban belegondolva, bár fájdalmas volt az ő fejezeteit olvasni, mert úgy éreztem, hogy ez így nincs rendben, ettől is hitelesebbé vált a könyv. Will karakterét viszont nagyon megkedveltem, a levelén pedig még órákkal később is nevettem. 🙂

A könyv egészen a háromnegyedéig a ‘megkérdőjelezhetetlenül 5 csillagos’ kategóriába esett nálam, de az utolsó negyed annyira fájdalmas volt, hogy pont ez az amiért nem tetszett, de talán ez az igazi élet… Nem tudom, hogy létezhet-e ilyenfajta második esély. Hogy létezhet-e hogy két szerelmes ilyen sok éve után is fel tudja venni az élet fonalát? Hogy ez csak egy tündérmese, vagy egy fájdalmas valóság jóra fordulása? Minden esetre gyönyörű történet volt, egy életen át tartó szerelemről.

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My Review in English

When a reader picks up a multi award-winning book, knowing that the author could achieve this with her debut novel, doesn’t know what to expect. This was the case with me, too. And I have to tell you, that this book definitely was something else. It is a slow-building story, written with a really unique writing style, but it was so real, so painful and authentic that it grabbed me from the beginning. The author touched a really tragic, painful, inexplicable and unfortunately not unprecedented subject. The fact that some of the events on the paper really happened (on 20th April 1999), also gave more shades to the story.

Eris Fiskare begins his first year of college at Lancaster University on technical theater minor, when one day he lays his eyes on the beautiful ballet dancer, Daisy Bianco. Their story is so beautiful and the connection between them is so magical. I loved how their love unfolded beautifully page by page. But a tragic event turns their life upside down and suddenly they find themselves in the dark deepness. They try to find themselves and each other in the dark but the hurricane of the events tears them apart for long-long years.

I think the magic of the story was in the authenticity. On the one hand Suanne Laqueur graduated with a double major in dance and theater, so every detail she wrote down on the paper felt so real, that sometimes I almost felt myself on the stage with Daisy or in the lighting booth with Eric. The events and the aftermath of the story also felt so raw and real, and I truly felt that my heart broke all over again for the characters. The way the author dealt with the psyche of the characters was also so brilliantly pieced together that at the end every little detail connected, and we got answers for every question. At the end of the book the author mentioned that a doctor helped her during the writing and maybe this is the other reason why every reaction, thought and pain felt so real. I also really loved about the book, that even though the story was building slowly, sometimes the smallest details have a role later and every detail mattered.

However I felt the closure of the story too rushed. This book was almost 500 pages, but I felt that I desperately need more Daisy and Eric, a longer closure, an epilogue, anything. Luckily the second part of the series (Daisy’s POV) contained a few extra pages at the end of the book, so I could finish this story on the whole, pleased. The third part of the series which continues the story of Daisy and Eric is coming on January 14th.

To tell the truth I would have missed out Melanie from the whole story (with this the book would have been less with 100 pages and it would have been easier to digest for me). But if I think about it despite it was so painful to read about her because I constantly felt that “it is not right!”, maybe this made this story more real. I loved Will’s character and I laughed on his letter even several hours later. 🙂

This book was unquestionably 5 stars for me in the first three-quarters of the book. But to tell the truth, the last quarter of story was so painful that I didn’t like to read it. But maybe this is the real life… I don’t know if this kind of second-chance could really exist? If it is possible to pick up the threads after so long years for two lost souls? That if it is just a fairy tale or a painful reality taking a turn for the better? Anyway, it was a truly beautiful story about a life-long love.

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My Favorite Quotes From the Book

“The man I love all right,” Daisy said…
“I love you,” Erik said, laughing. He caught her hand, holding onto the connection a few more precious seconds…
“I love us,” she said, and kissed him.
“Us.”

“Pain makes joy sweeter. And joy helps you survive pain. You can’t have one without the other. If you open yourself to both, you are, by default, surviving.”

“Going up is easy. Coming down is the hard part.”

“You said you were waiting for the one.”
“I think I was waiting for you.”

“Nothing man-made was perfect. Not even massive churches. A partnership wasn’t about being beautiful and adored in the spotlight, it was about incorporating the mistakes into the architecture and continuing to build something beautiful. Together.”

“He remembered.
(…) It was flooding him now, fast and furious. Not flowers but a white-water river of memory churning up in his brain, each recollection clamoring for attention and refusing to be corralled into order. His hands came up to the sides of his head, trying to hold it all in place.”

“Leaving isn’t always the end of loving. Love doesn’t give a shit about geography, Erik. It’s not a thing you can abandon at will.”

“We’re all shaped by our scars,” Omar had said, as he inked a daisy into Erik’s wrist.”

“Loving her felt like creating something. A cathedral. Spires and stained glass and bells. But she broke one window and I indiscriminately tore the whole thing down.”

“You’re Swedish but your eyes are brown,” she said, gazing intently at him.
“You’re French but your eyes are impossible.”

4.5- Cathedral building- Stars

4,5 stars

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Music for the Book

 I heard this beautiful song by Christina Perri exactly when I read the second half of this book (what a coincidence) and suddenly it reminded me so-so much of the story. The pain, the loneliness, the dancing… Everything in this song felt so close to what Eric and especially Daisy could felt. I think it is perfect for the story.

About the Author

Suanne Laqueur’s debut novel The Man I Love won a Suanne Laqueurgold medal in the 2015 Readers’ Favorite Book Awards. Its other accolades include the 2015 Beverly Hills Book Award, a gold medal at the 2015 eLit Awards, and is a current finalist in the 2015 Kindle Book Awards.

Laqueur graduated from Alfred University with a double major in dance and theater. She taught at the Carol Bierman School of Ballet Arts in Croton-on-Hudson for ten years. An avid reader, cook and gardener, she started her blog EatsReadsThinks in 2010. She lives in Westchester County, New York with her husband and two children.

With The Man I Love and its companion novel, Give Me Your Answer True, Laqueur has gone from choreographing dancers to choreographing words. Her goal is to create a new kind of emotionally-intelligent romance that appeals to the emotions of all readers, crossing gender, age and genre. Visit her at www.suannelaqueur.com.

The Fish Tales Series

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Here to Stay (The Fish Tales #3) by Suanne Laqueur is coming January 14th 2016!

5 thoughts on “Suanne Laqueur – The Man I Love (The Fish Tales #1)

  1. Veronika, thank you so so much for this review, I’m honored! I’m confident you will find what you are looking for in its sequel, Here to Stay, and I hope you’ll come back to read more of Daisy and Erik.
    Thanks again!
    Suanne

    1. I’m so happy, that you liked my review, and I’m so glad that I had an opportunity to read a such an amazing story! Congratulations! 🙂 And I really can’ wait to read more of Daisy and Erik! 🙂

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